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I just want to be honest with you.
This week I procrastinate a lot. I have no desires to do what I usually do in my regular routine. I am almost delay of my devotion (I know I should be disciplined in this matter). And the cons, I noticed I get easily grumble, irritated and impatient of petty things.
Have you experienced praying for something to God and it feels like no answer coming? And it took you years or probably decades of waiting for answers.
If that is a yes, well, you are not the only one. I won’t be beating around the bush; I am in the season of my singleness. I know it’s a gift from above but why is this season making me feel it’s a problem. I’ve been praying for almost 5 years now.
For some, my 5 years of praying is nothing compared to the people in the Bible such as,
- Abraham waited for a total of 25 years of God’s promise. The promise was he will be the father of all many nations through his own son.
- Moses waited 40 years in the wilderness.
- Joseph waited 15 years to get out of the jail.
- Jesus waited 30 years to begin his ministry.
Those are just a few people in the Bible but look at those years of their waiting compare to mine. But I started to feel impatient to God. I want him to give it now! (Like a toddler asking for a Popsicle) I remember in my prayer, I express my heartfelt honesty to God,
Why is it to some people it’s easy for them to have their partner or after they broke up they can easily find a replacement? And to me your treasured possession, what took it so long? What hinders you Tay to bless me, my lifetime partner? Am I not capable to handle relationship? Am I not prayerful or not yet ready for this season?
I began to question God. I felt tired of waiting.
I believe everyone comes to the point of being tired of waiting, not just on the part of desiring a lifetime partner. We have so many concerns in life. Waiting for a perfect job, healing for long-time sickness, having a house of their own, having a baby, being a boss of their own business and many more. We are waiting to God. We are waiting for breakthrough. Right?
Now, I realized that it is so selfish of me to think that God is delaying things for my sake, which is not.
As I read my Bible today, the Lord encouraged me in Psalm 68:19,
Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior who daily bears our burdens.
I almost forgot that we have God whose our Savior and who also bears our burdens daily.
I just want to give emphasis on this word “daily”. Meaning, whatever concerns we are dealing day by day. Our good Father is also dealing it, without missing a day. For us to think that we are just doing it on our own, no, we are not bearing it alone. Our daily concerns is God’s daily concerns too! I think it is just so difficult to see God’s dealing in our daily lives, when our minds, eyes and hearts are too focused or consumed of our unfulfilled longings in Him. And allowing the pressures of life to pass through in our inner beings. Instead of focusing our minds, eyes and hearts to the Giver who doesn’t withhold good things to his people. And where we can encounter him? through his word. No other way. Because if we are going to rely on secular view, it will just lead us to destruction and emptiness. Trouble after trouble. There is no peace and joy.
As for me, this season of singleness may be dull or eventless, but I believe this is a necessary part of the movement toward the fulfillment of His promise. I don’t know when will this season last but I believe this is his gift to me that I should be thankful before he gives another one.
And the same thing in your waiting too! God Bless!